...

The one thing the Peace Corps was right about when giving us information on our 2 year experience; which wasn't much, was that it would be a rollercoaster ride of emmotions. While in training I was pretty much 100% sure that I could ride this experience out for the next 2 years; no problem. And then I got to site.

I've been at my site for about 3 weeks now. My first week; one of the teachers that works on my coumpund came by my house to say hello. She proceeded to tell me her life story which inculded the death of her husband and father; how she is trying to support her two children on 2000 /= (shillings) a month; which is about $30; and how her mother is in the hospital dying of throat cancer. She then proceeded to ask me for 5,000/= to pay her mothers hospital bills. I of course could not give her 5,000/= and felt like the worst human being to ever walk to the face of the earth when I said no.

I talked to a few of my fellow volunteers about this and they all convinced me that it was most likely a hoax and that she just wanted the money. This got me through the night but silly me decided to ask my Supervisor about the woman the next day. The story of course turned out to be true and I burst into tears in front of my Supervisor. Kenyan's don't know what to do when people cry...

I then went to Oyugis; to visit my nearest volunteer for the weekend. I had to get away from my site.

Since this incident 2 women and one child in my community have died. They weren't women that I knew particularly well but I had seen them in passing and the child was one of the orphans that goes to the school on my compound. She was very bright and liked to lead the children in songs. I remember thinking how smart she was and hoping that I would be able to find her a sponsor so that she could attend secondary school. She had the chicken Pox! They thought she had malaria and had a local man come in and give her a shot of medication for malaria. She was dead within hours of being given the medication.

So, needless to say, this is hard...and I don't know if I will make it through the next 2 years. Everyday is a new and different experience ...

Everytime I have a good experience it reminds me of why I'm here and what I'm doing but I don't know if that will be enough to sustain me. Don't worry; I'm not planning on going home tomorrow or anything but this experience is anything but easy.

Wish me luck...